Ouch. I don’t know about you, but when I live in a way that falls short of the person I want to be, it hurts. A lot. I feel small, I feel faulty, broken, worthless. I feel like I’ve failed like I have hurt or let other people down. I feel undeserving of love.
As someone whose identity is very inter-connected with being there for others and earning and gaining their love and respect, I’ve spent a lot of my life caught in the dynamic of wanting to be there for others in the way that they want me to be (or often it is actually just in the way I think they want me to be) and being there for my deepest self.
When I’m in the midst of this pain though, I have learned to be thankful for it. It is the truest compass I have, that I believe we all have, to guide me towards the life I need to live. It shows me the changes I need to make, the gap between who I thought I needed to be and who I actually need to be. It does show me where I am falling short, but it also shows me the way to step forward.
Our heart, our emotions are our truest compass for living a life that will bring us satisfaction, meaning and joy. A life where we can step into the people and yes, leaders we are meant to be.
Too often we avoid hearing and experiencing the pain of misalignment and of feeling unfulfilled. We avoid it with projects, goals, with keeping busy, with doing what others ask of us, with the unending urgent but unimportant tasks of life.
How can we prioritize and make the time to listen and be with our hearts and deepest selves? This is the first and most important step in moving into that person and leader we are each meant to be. It is only from this place of deep listening that we can really know the best direction to take.
Questions for Reflection:
- Does this resonate with you?
- What triggers you into feeling that you are falling short?
- What supports you to hear the call of your heart?
- How can you better prioritize this?
- How do you recognize what needs shifting and gain the power to shift it?
- What supports you do this and what gets in the way?